When I called for my mom at the nursing home, one of the staff went to Mom's room and told her, "Your daughter is on the phone, Bonne." Mom got confused when she tried to give her the phone, as she sometimes does. I could hear Mom close to the phone so I said, "Hi Mom, this is Lizzie!" Then she said, "Hi", and I had her attention. It's almost like a baby when you try to give it a bottle and the baby fusses and squirms and pulls away from the bottle because it doesn't know it's right there. That's kind of what it's like. Mom takes the phone but she doesn't know what it's for and why she has it in her hands, but as soon as she hears her daughter's voice, she knows what she's supposed to do. It's like she's hungry for attention, and when she hears a familiar voice, she responds.
I also know that I need to tell my mom I love her right away because I just don't know when she is going to leave the conversation for lack of remembering she was talking on the phone. She will either set the phone down and walk out of the room, or take it with her, but not realize she still has the phone in her hands and her daughter is waiting on the other side, calling out her name. I think she may even fall asleep sometimes. At least if I get a chance to tell my mom that I love her and I miss her, and she says it back to me, then I can smile and feel that our conversation was good, no matter what happens after that.
During this conversation Mom said the usual things. When are you coming here, is (?) coming with you, I want to get out of here, and so on. I reminded her that my daughter and four year old granddaughter are coming with me to see her. Mom sounds like a loving Nana when she hears about her great grandchildren. That is one thing that is evident. She still shows her nurturing side when it comes to small children. I can't wait to see my granddaughter sit on my mom's lap because I know it is going to make my mom beam, when not much else does these days.
Mom said someone put something on her shelf and she said she was going to turn it on. I could hear IT making noises, rather loudly, but I couldn't make out what IT was saying and I didn't know what IT was. When the sounds stopped, Mom was not there. I called out for her and she said, "Lizzie, where are you? I can't hear you." I told her I am still on the phone and for her to put the phone by her ear. After a few attempts to get her to do so, she finally did, and we were back in business. After a couple of minutes she turned on another toy she had that plays a tune. It's a monkey and he sings a song. Before that was finished playing she turned on her music box that I got her and played the song in it's entirety. I heard every last note of You Light Up My Life as it slowed down and came to an end. Afterwards Mom was gone. Either she fell asleep or she walked out of the room. I patiently waited for her to come back to me, and occasionally called out for her. It was silent in her room until I heard her door open, and then the line went dead. This is the way our phone conversations go sometimes.
The five Carver girls were extremely close, being raised by their single mom, whom they adored. With only eight years separating them, they loved and cherished each other, and did anything to protect each other. Nobody would have ever imagined how their lives would change once their mom was stricken with Alzheimer's disease.
She loves those things that play songs.
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