Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Blog 53: I'm Not Going To Forget You

That’s what my mom said to me the other day, right after she told me she loves me very much.  She said, “I’m not going to forget you.”  In her very confused state, with a lot of what she says not making much sense, hearing her say something so meaningful, showed me that God is giving me something back.  He is giving me pieces of my mom back, at a time when I thought she was no longer capable of expressing her love, and at a time where I feel we are losing her.  I believe He spoke to me through my mom and He helped her say those words, because she often can’t express herself the way she wants to.

My mom has shown her love to me so many times over the past two weeks that I’ve been here visiting her.  I was so wrong to state in a recent post that Alzheimer’s-Dementia has stolen her ability to show love.  With God’s help (and I do believe it is God, because He knows how much I need this) she put her arms around me and hugged me every day.  She never really was a hugger…always complained that we had hairspray in our hair, so she would pat us quickly and then be done.  She hugged me so tight the other day that we almost fell over on her bed.  Both of us laughed.   A new thing she does now is she leans her forehead into mine and looks into my eyes.   As our blue eyes meet, I could see the pain and despair in those beautiful blue eyes, but I also saw love and happiness that I was there with her, at that moment.    

Mom holds my hand and lets me pray with her.  She has said things like, you are so good…you help me all the time…I’m glad you came here…don’t ever leave me…Lizzie, I love you so much…and the most touching and meaningful words…I’M NOT GOING TO FORGET YOU.  I get choked up just thinking about it, and I will never, ever forget that she said those wonderful words to me.  Of course I told her I will never forget her, too.  

Mom cried when I called her great grandson, Kevin, to talk to him.  She was so happy to hear his voice.  Mom also showed her love to other family members when I called for her to talk or do face time with them.  She does still show that she loves us!

Here is my mom talking to her great granddaughter.

I bought Mom a prayer bear, and when you squeeze her tummy a child’s voice says...

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, may angels watch me through the night, and keep me in their blessed sight.  Amen  

Mom loved it and wanted to play it over and over again, and then she fell asleep holding the little bear.  I was choked up and I couldn't hold back the tears as we left her room and drove home.  

1 comment:

  1. I would have cried too, walking out and seeing her hold that bear. I wish I could hug her right now. I wish I could tell her that I love her again. I am so glad the you held the phone for us to talk to her.