When I called for my mom, her caregiver woke her from a nap
and handed her the phone. Mom started
crying when she heard my voice. I asked
her why she was crying and she told me she didn’t know. But I could clearly sense that something was
bothering her. I told her I love her and
I miss her and she said she loves me and misses me too.
Throughout our brief conversation my mom went in and out of
crying. I tried to cheer her by telling
her that I will see her soon and that her great grandson can’t wait to come see
her, too. That made Mom giggle a little
bit. She just loves the little ones, and
talking about them always seems to cheer her up.
I named everyone’s names and told Mom we all love her very
much, and I said I wish we could all hop on a bus and come see her and take her
to the park. She cried again. I told Mom to be happy and I could hear her
caregiver, who was helping Mom with the phone, tell her to not be sad. Mom kept saying she’s not sad, but her crying
indicated to me that she was. I just
can’t help but wonder what is on her mind.
I wish she could tell me.
I’ve noticed a pattern of behavior with my mom whenever she
awakens suddenly. She appears to be
coherent right away, and it’s almost like she doesn’t have Alzheimer’s. She sometimes says things that completely
take me by surprise. She’ll say a
complete sentence, or she’ll mention someone’s name that she hasn’t said in a long
time. She usually seems more emotional
and nurturing then, too.
It’s so hard to describe, but I’m wondering if a person with
Alzheimer’s has a section of their brain that is protected, and when they are
in a deep sleep, this part of the brain is activated. I’ve seen this type of behavior in my mom
many times after she wakes from sleeping.
I wonder if she dreams the way we all do, and then when she wakes up, she
almost feels and acts normal until she becomes fully awake, and the reality of
Alzheimer’s comes back. I tried to find
some information about this online but couldn’t find anything.
As far as my sisters…I called Kathy while she was at work
the other day, because I knew that was the only way I could talk to her. She usually doesn’t answer when I call her
mobile phone. I was surprised to hear
how happy she was to hear my voice. She
commented on how long it’s been since we’ve talked and I told her she doesn’t
answer when I call her. I asked her if
she was mad at me because she never calls.
She said she’s not mad at me, and she explained she has a lot going on
in her life and her way of handling things is to keep to herself. She said she doesn’t call anyone. I told
her I love her and I am always going to be there for her. I expressed my sadness in not having my
sisters to talk to during these difficult times with Mom’s illness. I said we need each other now more than ever. Kathy agreed with me, but still, I don’t see
that things are going to change.
I realized after talking to Kathy that the distance I feel
from my sisters is probably due in part to the things they have going on in
their own own lives. It’s not about me. It’s about them. I need to stop taking it personally, letting my feelings get hurt, and losing sleep over it, even though I can't help but miss the way it used to be.
That is interesting about how your Mom is when waking. My Mom is the opposite...very disoriented and confused. My Mom is the most "normal" at bedtime with the lights out...AND sometimes on the phone. Something about taking the visual away makes her more cognizant...very weird. If I am away(rare as I live with her)and call, often when she hears my voice, she will say things we've not heard in ages...it always catches me off guard and I wish I had recorded it. Your sibling situation is common but sad. Each one tries to cope as best they can. Some like us, don't have the luxury of pretending it's not true as we face it daily(up close and personal). Others prefer to hold onto memories and not face this new reality. I prefer to LOVE abundantly for each day Mom is here with us so I have NO REGRETS! God bless your journey.
ReplyDeleteMy mother's doctor told me that because her behavioral filters have deteriorated she now has "emotional incontinence". She sobs at the drop of a hat and then the next minute might chuckle then scream.
ReplyDeleteWhile Alzheimer's patients suffer from increasing short-term memory loss, they often still retain much of their long-term memory. One of the best ways to engage with Alzheimer's sufferers in the early to middle stages is to ask them to tell you stories from their past. It is enjoyable and calming for them and usually very interesting for the listener.
ReplyDeleteAlzheimer’s clinic